pizzatitza

Ingredients
1 slice of Wonderbread
2 tablespoons of mild salsa (drained)
OR
2 tablespoons pasta sauce
assorted chopped veggies
OR
meats
grated cheese (any kind will do, although i am partial to pepper jack)

Assemblage Instructions
1. assemble as follows (from bottom up):
bread, sauce, cheese, veggies/meats
2. toast
3. enjoy with a chilled Miller Light (1/2 the calories of Bud Light, 2x the flavor!)

it's simple, i know, but it's also delish and easy to prepare.

I'm just lettin' yall know that I'm willing to sell out.

p.s. please wash your hands

oramangatonipeach - a new dessert drink with class that aint too sweet at all

Ingredients
orange juice
tonic water (bitter lemon works especially well)
peach sorbet
vodka
little cocktail umbrella
and a slice of fruit (apple, melon, cherry, etc)


Assemblage Instructions
1. WASH YER HANDS
2. fill a large cup (16-20 oz) 1/3 with orange juice
3. add tonic water up to 1/2 mark
4. add 1-2 small scoops peach sorbet
5. top off with vodka (6-8 shots, to taste)
5. pour from one glass to another to mix
6. add decorative fruit and umbrella
7. get drunker

DAMN IT, IM HAMMERED
(and my sweet tooth is satisfied)

Rajesh the Reub

Ingredients
2 slices pump/rye swirl bread
1/6 lb corned beef
1/6 lb swiss cheese
1 cup sauerkraut
2 tblspn mayo
2 tblspn ketchup
1 fingernail mustard
1 tsp relish
1 tblspn sliced almonds
1 tspn sweetened ground coconut
.5 tspn curry powder
butter

Assemblage Instructions
1. WASH YER DAMN HANDS
2. mix ketchup, mayo, mustard, relish, curry in separate dish (this is now 600 million island dressing)
3. brown sliced almonds briefly in toaster oven
4. assemble sandwich as follows (from bottom up):
bread, 600 million island dressing, half swiss cheese, half corned beef, sauerkraut, coconut, almonds, half corned beef, half swiss cheese , 600 million island dressing, bread
5. microwave on high for 1:15 minutes or until cheese is a little melty
6. butter outside of sandwich, grill in pan on medium heat until bread is firm and browned
7. pray to Nathan Scott Philips, Sammich God daily around lunchtime for more sammich satisfaction

DON'T GO MAKIN' MONEY OFF MY RECIPES, NEITHER

Hamliscious

Ingredients:
2 slices white bread (the good oval kind)
1/6 of a pound sliced ham
1/4 of a stick o' pepper jack cheese (like about as much as a deck of cards and a half)
1 leaf lettuce
2 slices bacon
1/2 a sliced avocado
thinly sliced apple (rreeeely thin)
some tomato or salsa (preferably mild)
mayonnaise
mustard

Assemblage Instructions
1 WASH YER DAMN HANDS
2 fry, drain bacon
3 toast bread
4 slice up the ham nice an good, toss in pan with crumbled cheese, cook until melty
5 layer sandwich as follows (from bottom up):
bread, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato/salsa, melted ham/cheese, bacon, avocado, apple, mustard, mayo, bread
6 pray to Nathan Scott Philips, Sandwich God daily around lunchtime for more sammiching tips.

Im attempting a mind-blowing variation on this very recipe right now...
and Im also looking for a better name for the sammich than hamliscious. Maybe a name that's both ironic and a pun? Or something with a sexual connotation? Hit me up.

YOU'D BETTER NOT GO MAKIN MONEY OFF MY DAMN RECIPES